To Live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong!!!

Wow... What powerful words. You know I first started this blog as you all have heard as a private journal as what was to be read by me and only me. I had told the person that suggested I do this because of my whirl wind of Hell. I had been through that I should really take the last 6 years of my life write it all down and close that chapter of my life. I thought it to be a wonderful idea. I didn't want to write it in a journal my kids could find. But better yet the suggestions I got. Well I got lots of people to read... LOL so for a little bit I have shyed away from writing as some of things that have occured in my life have been unreal. They are things that happen in movies... NOt in real life. But yet again.. I find myself how to I get the courage to continue on. Your comments and all the support everyone has given me is giving me the courage to continue tellng my story. It may take awhile but, it will all get out sooner or later.

So I look at this comment tonight and there is so many things running through my mind,:To Live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong." Take this how you want. But for me just within the last little bit of my life. After the Rape and sexual assault. I found that I became somewhat sheltered in the aspect of staying out of the public eye. Which if you are going through things you need to keep bus to not shut down.

But what does this mean to me.... As i was lying in my hospital bed several years ago in a comma for awhile not knowing what was going on in the world outside and as they slowly reintroduced me to the chaotic world at age XX When I awoke I did not realize I had battled or been battling for my life. All i could see is the sheer terror in my kids and loved ones eyes. So I knew how sick I really had been.

But lying there the next couple weeks in recovery.. It was funny to have all this time to jsut think. If you know me you know I don't stop and I hardly sit and think ok never. So this was a rare occasion for me. I pondered upon many life goals I wanted to set. Being honest with my fellow man. Never going a day without telling someone how you feel about them.

It is funny because I told my kids at this time. I am never going to go a day without telling those people in my life how I feel about them. I am not sure that this has been a good or bad thing. But then at the end of the day. I feel like If I were to leave here tonight. i think most people in my life would know exactly where they stand in my life. I found this to be difficult in some areas. As we will always have those first loves that we of course will always have feelings for. And other people and friends of the opposite sex come into our lives for reasons. Some I am not sure why.. But, I know in the end we will understand it all. So this has been a challenge because when you are married. You dont really tell another man or opposite sex. I really care for you and you have become a great friend. Most people frown upon this.

But, I am a very straight shooter since this all. if you give me the chance I will tell you how I feel about you exactly.  So to live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong.

How many times have you as a person or even me as a person feared that if I were to tell someone something and it was the wrong thing to say I would lose that. 

An example recently arouse in my life. I met a great friend. Just a great person. Its funny because if I let you into my life you are considered a friend for life. So anyways.... i decided not to lose the fear of being wrong and speak how I felt about or friendship. now Girls... Let me tell you a secret I just learned dont decide to tell a guy... I don't know why but they take this as wow this girl wants a relationship.. Ouch when all you really want to do is thank them for their frienship because in the end people and friends and family are what get us through life. I don't know just rambiling on about this quote I ran across as I have taken it in so many ways. I have meet some amazing people in my life that I know will always be a part of my life. i am very thankful for them and that they havee come into my life.

Sometimes its funny how a certain someone will come into your life and your not sure why they are all the sudden in your life but there is I beleive always a pupose and a plan. I always try to over analyze everything. But i am going to try and go outside the comfort zone and just see how this plays out. Thanks for continuing to give support. i am working the courage up to tell more stories it just takes that certain mood. I wish I had all the money I needed.

I have had several people reach out to us for help in getting them into a rehab. It makes me so sad that when someone has finally made the decision to check them selves into rehab those families that dont have the money. Just cant go... And in the long run sometimes end up changing their mind. If I could raise enough money I would design a program to help addicts get the professional help they needed without having to have a $10,000 dollar dowan payment to get them a bed. It makes me sick. I know of 5 families that have came to be and i only wish I could give them the money to get into the rehab facility because really sometimes this is rock bottom and their last chance. Anyways,

Lets all take a chance on life and lose our fear of being Wrong. People together as teams can make miracles happen and really make mountains move.

i appreciate you that have been following and will try to write more as I am ove the shock of the number volume that came in suddenly.

thanks, The Family who wants to Pay it forward.