Nightmares Go Away!! (Caused by Rapist and Stalker) Glad I can finally Share

You know what I hate 430am and over 2 to 3 years later & yet another nightmare. Waking up shaking in a sweat feeling as is the dream true?? Because.... 2,3 years ago it was no dream it was reality. I want the dreams to STOP. You never can go back to sleep. Same dream the dream you thought only happens in the movies. Yet for me my dream I got to experience first hand no movie it was real.


The chill of waking to a light breeze & then was it real you heard footsteps. Were they a bad dream? Part of your imagination? No they are. Real. 4:09 am the clock reads. Is one of the kids awake you call out to your kids. No answer the footsteps come closer & our heavy. Is my husband for some reason home a day & half early from work you call out. No answer. Footsteps become heavier and you start to panic. You put your head under the covers praying quickly go away. Take this away. This is in my imagination. And then the footsteps stop whoever it is has arrived. Arrived at your bedroom door. And then the shear terror of a really, really bad dream but is reality HITS. The lights are snapped on and there IT is your worst fear & nightmare come true. What to do.

IT'S a man dressed in black and he has a gun and its pointed directly at YOU.

The nightmare that is not a nightmare begins.



Yet... Tonight again trembling so hard I am thankful once 30 minutes have pasted I realize just another bad dream. Of what once was my reality of a worst nightmare... Worst movie clip ever. I am alive and it was just a reminder of that night that one night that has haunted me every night for years and years.

And now I flog if I was not trembling so bad the details of that night I would tell but... I am slowly working up the courage to relive that one dreadful....god awful night. As tonight I am thankful to be alive to take another breathe and I have 2 hours left to try and get some more sleep before. It usually never happens. Events play back and forth in my head. Scenarios what ifs. So I end tonight's blog with. I thank god I am alive, I am a survivor and my family is alive, justice is and so far has somewhat been served so tonight I thank god only another nightmare. I am alive and tomorrow I will celebrate life.

For some reason I battled for my life those weeks after that brutal attack of the rape and assault attack. Waking up days, weeks later in the hospital to see those kids smiling faces as I awoke. They had a rough couple of weeks or had it been months?? But mom was alive.... To be continued ...